2 months

It has been almost 2 months since this whole journey of waiting and not knowing started. I cannot believe that. Some weeks seem to fly by, while there are some weeks that seem to drag on forever. Time usually goes slower the day or two before I have an appointment. 

Once again, the day before the appointment held some challenges that I am not sure I will ever get used to. For the majority of the day on Monday I had very little leaking and was resting a lot. It was around 3:00 that I went to the restroom and once again saw blood. I immediately just laid on the couch, called Jordan to tell him and prayed. My doctor told me that unless there was a significant amount of bleeding and cramps, I didn't need to worry too much about the blood. Easier said than done. I began to think any pain was a cramp and constantly went to the restroom to see if there was more. While, there were some cramp-like pains, the bleeding had stopped before I went to bed. Jordan and I were just hanging out that night watching TV, I tried so hard to not think about the possibility of the worst. When I let those thoughts into my heart and mind, I would immediately start crying and worry about what the next day’s appointment had in store. Trying to go to bed that night was not easy, but I was finally able to get some rest. 

I tried to sleep later than I normally do in hopes it would make the day go by a little quicker. My mom came to hang out and eat lunch with me so that I wasn't alone and worrying the whole day. It is surprising how fast a day can go when you are distracted with a mom and Gilmore girls. Three o'clock was here before we knew it. My mom dropped me off at the appointment and Jordan was met me there. Thankfully, they were running on schedule and we didn't have to wait too long to be called back. They had us go into an examining room first, which was different than the weeks before. The doctor used the Doppler to find the heartbeat first and his first words were "Well, there's Old Faithful!" He was immediately able to find a strong heartbeat. I asked if we would be getting an ultrasound, and he said they would send me back there after he examined me. 

At this point, I was reassured that everything looked good and sounded good with the baby's heartbeat. So, the ultrasound would be just for us to see the baby and get some pictures. Susan, our now sweet friend, was still talking about last week and how our baby had flipped from head down to breeched. She told us the heart rate was 153, good and strong! This wasn't a full diagnostic scan, but she just looked around to make sure everything still looked good. Our sweet little babe was wiggling around in the little room it has. So, we were able to watch that for a little while which was a sweet blessing. 

After the ultrasound, we went to our doctor’s office to ask some questions and talk about the next step. Now that we are getting so much closer to the baby being able to survive outside of the womb, there are a few things that I wanted to know more about. I will be 20 weeks on Friday, so if I can make it 4 more weeks we will start doing more to help the baby's lung production and do whatever we can to keep this baby in as long as possible. My doctor also wanted me to go ahead and start seeing a specialist that deals with more high-risk pregnancies. I will start seeing the same specialist I saw the first time my water broke. (I am sure he is going to be shocked to see me since he told me there was only a 1-2% chance this baby would live.)  

 From this point on, I will be going on modified bed rest. So, I will be staying at home doing lots of sitting, laying down and resting. I am still able to walk around the house and get ready, but the majority of my day needs to be spent sitting or lying down. After the holidays I will for sure be taking up some new hobbies and doing lots of binge Netflix marathons.

 I don't think I can say thank you enough to all those who have been asking, praying and loving on me, Jordan and this baby. We continue to hear some amazing stories of how this blog has touched so many people’s lives. I thank the Lord that He led you here, and I continue to pray that our child's life will be a testimony to many people.